Funny Story

Or at least it is funny to me. It also goes to show you that dogs don’t read our minds; not that they would want to.

My husband reheated some IHOP leftovers and took them into the living room. I was in the bathroom struggling to brush my teeth (I have tendinitis in my left wrist which happens to be the hand that I brush my teeth with; I’m right handed BTW) and he came into the bathroom to talk to/torment me. His plate wasn’t with him. I assumed he’d put his plate on the small dinner tables that we keep in the living room for that exact purpose. But…we know what happens when we assume. It makes a…yeah…out of you and I get to laugh about it. What? That’s not how it goes? Well that’s how this goes and I’m sure you know where this story is going.

I dismissed my husband from the bathroom because he was annoying me. Tendinitis+my husband+trying to brush my teeth with tendinitis=a cranky wife. He went back to the living room and started yelling at Haley because she was eating his food. I’m sure he hit her. She ran away chewing. He grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and told her to drop whatever she was eating.

While this was going on, I imagined Haley having jumped up in his chair and got the food off of the little table. I was both puzzled and in awe of my little dog performing such a feat to get food.

I asked him to verify that she had jumped up in the chair. What he told me was against all knowledge that a dog owner [should] have acquired by the time their dog is six months. He had put his plate of IHOP leftovers–biscuits & gravy and an omelet–on the little footstool that is in front of his chair. Translation, he put the food at eye level to my Shih Tzu WITHOUT telling her to leave it!

I tried not to laugh because my husband was clearly, and understandably, upset. He brooded for several minutes, calling the dogs (it was only one offender) stupid and refusing to listen to me telling him that he shouldn’t have put the food that close to the dogs. He said that Haley should know better. I replied that she wouldn’t know that something is wrong if he didn’t tell her. In Haley’s mind, he put the plate of food on the footstool for her. He brooded some more; the dogs got confined; and I couldn’t wait until morning to tell my mom the story.

This has happened to me before on several occasions. Every time I just laughed and shook my head. It was my fault for leaving the food unattended when I knew what the dog(s) was/were capable of. My mother and I have learned that these things happen when you live with dogs.

My husband, though, is new to the whole dog parent thing. He’s briefly had a dog or two in the past, but has always been a cat person, basking in the fact that cats are lower maintenance than dogs (HA! and again I say HA!). He doesn’t know that you shouldn’t leave your plate on a footstool because cats NEVER steal your food and even if they do, cats don’t KNOW any better, but dogs do. Ergo, I should be more understanding. Should be…but not necessarily will be.

I don’t mean to paint my husband in a bad way and I’m not just saying that because I know he’ll read this one day (that rhymed). He really is a good guy, he just needs to get with the dog parenthood program and lighten up when it comes to dogs. He should stop taking things so personally when the dogs do, or don’t do, what he wants. It’s not to spite him; they’re just dogs. Cats on the other hand…but we won’t get into that.

Until next time, if you steal your owners food blame it on the cat; blame everything on the cat. Just make sure you don’t have any cheese dangling from your lips.


About Siege

Hi, I'm Siedra. I live in eastern Oklahoma with my six dogs and my rats. I'm a writer, and scrapbooker/mixed media artist. My life revolves around my dogs, so I decided to blog about them and pet parenthood in general. When I'm not working, or writing, or scrapbooking, or hanging out with my dogs, or thinking about any or all of the above, I'm probably asleep. View all posts by Siege

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