Tag Archives: Humor

Buddy’s Thoughts

I wrote this short piece while waiting for a friend of mine to pick me up. Buddy was inside barking at me. He hates when he’s left behind. Anyway, I wrote this from Buddy’s point of view.

I don’t want you leaving without me.

I cannot protect you if we’re apart.

What if something happens to you?

I know how much you rely on me;

On my strength.

I know how much it hurts for you to leave me.

I know how happy you are when you return.

I can feel it in your touch.

I can smell it on your skin.

The outside world scares you.

Let me go with you.

No one will hurt you with me around.

You and I are one.

Never leave me because I will never leave you…

Unless I see a squirrel then all bets are off.

 

Until next time, keep the squirrels out of your yard and your humans in.


Puppy-Dog: Gotta Catch Them All

My dogs’ stats if they were video game characters:

Name: Haley

Age: 3 years

Breed: Shih Tzu

Attack(s): Shredding (she can take an evil plastic bag’s HP from 100 down to zero with one attack), I surrender (when she is beaten, she rolls over on her back; challenger thinks the fight is won, until challenger tries to go in for the final “kill”)

Special Attack(s): Selective Listening (reduces challenger to a frustrated mess that can only stomp a foot), Instigation (she can rile up many challengers even after they’ve gone their own way causing them to “turn” on each other; this reduces challengers’ HP without reducing hers)

Name: Shelby Bird

Age: 2 years

Breed: Blue Heeler

Attack(s): Bird imitations, Counter surfing,

Special Attack(s): Tail-Wag attack (a very painful attack reducing challenger’s HP by half)

Name: Penny

Age: 2 years

Breed: Rat Terrier

Attack(s): Jumping, Growl-Nudge (she thinks it’s her strongest attack, but this is a weak attack that often causes the challenger to counter-attack),

Special Attack(s): Tight ball curl (this enables her to reduce her size by two-thirds making it hard for challenger to attack)

Name: Ebony Rose

Age: 1 year (on 22nd)

Breed: Toy Poodle, Maltese, Yorkie mix

Attacks: Face lick (though not a strong attack, it causes immediate discomfort for the challenger), Mud Paw (causes damage when she jumps up on challenger with her muddy paws),

Special Attack(s): Cuteness Overload (with one look the challenger’s HP is reduced to zero)

If your pet was a video game character, what would his or her stats be?


Writer in Need of a Job and Other “Tear-Jerking” Tales

I think I’m about to go crazy. I need a job. I’ve been contemplating taking a part-time job at Petsmart just so that I can have something to do. However, I did sign up on a website as a writing contractor so we’ll see what comes of that.

Yesterday I got my Heeler fixed and I have to keep her “quiet” for three days. That’s like keeping a mountain goat from climbing. Literally. My Heeler loves to climb. She jumped up on the back of our love seat simply because she could. She tried to climb up on my scrapbooking table. I have a crate for her, but I don’t want to keep her in it all the time, so what I’m doing is hanging out in my study and letting her roam around.

Half or Less Books just might be my new favorite bookstore. All the books are so affordable, pocket change even. I found four clearance books that totaled up to six dollars. My fiance got some Star Trek books (yes, I’m marrying a nerd and I’m proud of it!). All together he paid less than twelve dollars for all six books…not a bad haul. I will definitely visit there again. The only unfortunate part about the store is all of the bookshelves are made of Cedar. My mother and I are allergic to Cedar with my mom being almost deathly allergic. That means that I won’t be able to take my mom shopping there which makes me kind of sad because I’d like to show her that place.

Moving is is going well, albeit slow. I only have so much motivation…er energy to get the job done. Maybe if I had some really good music blaring through the house then I might be more inclined to do some more work. Until then, I’ll just waste time on facebook.

I think this really about sums up my last few days. I’m hoping that life becomes more exciting. My characters in my stories have more fun than I have. How fair is that? Maybe I should fictionalize myself and go on adventures. Okay, I admit it, I’ve done that before. I like to write stories where I’m doing a lot more exciting things. Of course a lot more exciting things simply means I’m not sitting at home on my computer playing Farmville 2 hoping that I hear an ambulance or police car or some other signs of life outside of the walls of the house.

Well I’m going to go write about something exciting. Maybe I’ll find an adventure in the laundry room.

Until next time…